Worth the Risk
by paperbackreader12
Summary: "He wouldn't lose her; he belonged to her. He knew that as surely as he knew he was a Seal." Lisa and Sonny end up at the bar after a particularly tough spin-up. Post break-up.


Worth the Risk

A/N: Takes place after the break-up, but before "Danger Crossing".

Friday, 8:30 PM

Sonny paced outside Lisa's door, not unlike those many months ago that marked the turning point of their relationship. He clasped his hands behind his head as he walked to and from the threshold, willing her to open it with his mind. In a perfect world, she would let him in and tell him it was all a mistake - that their relationship was worth the risk. But he knew that wouldn't happen, because he knew that what she had said and done was necessary. He couldn't see another way either, but he would not give her up. Sonny knew that in his bones, but he wasn't sure what to do about it.

Hence his unannounced arrival at her door not even three hours after returning home from their spin-up. He wondered if she'd had as much trouble as he'd had over the past few days. It had been almost a month since the break-up, but work had been slower and they'd only endured one mission together. Part of him relished the torture of seeing her everyday, because at least he could see her. He knew she was safe and happy, not to mention he was able to watch her work from afar. He just hoped the pride he so often felt was not evident on his face - he was having more trouble these days hiding his emotions, so he avoided her. He avoided her gaze, he avoided speaking to her, he avoided being in the same proximity. If he hadn't, he was worried he would have grabbed her shoulders and begged her to take him back. He chuckled to himself - he was not unaware of the irony of the situation - he had ended up at her place regardless.

Another good reason Davis ended things, he supposed.

Sonny knocked one more time, placing his head and hands on her door for minutes after no one answered. He needed to give up. He needed to go home. He was embarrassing himself - he knew this.

But where was she? Maybe she was still on base in some kind of debriefing. That was the most logical answer. Maybe she and Mandy went to get dinner. He hoped that was it; he was fully aware Davis didn't eat until her nerves settled, and then all bets were off. He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose when he felt his phone vibrate. It was the group text from Bravo, indicating that some of the team was heading to the bar.

Hell, it was better than going home to his Lisa-less apartment.

Ten minutes later, Sonny pulled up to the bar. As he got out of his truck, he noticed Clay and Trent exiting their vehicles.

"Long time, no see, brothers." Sonny said, nodding to the other men.

"Couldn't stay away from your smelly ass, Sonny. Tell me, did you finally take a shower when you got home? I swear you smelled worse than roadkill this whole week." Clay smacked Sonny on the back and Sonny chuckled, holding his hands up defensively.

"It's all apart of my method, blondie. I try to smell like the earth in order to remain incognito, and sometimes that lasts several days despite later attempts at hygiene." Trent and Brock laughed, and Sonny self consciously sniffed himself, satisfied that he smelled like soap and not dead animals.

Clay chuckled and opened the door, letting the other two in before him. Before Sonny knew he was doing it, he was scanning the room for Davis. It was hard for him to break the habit of locating her in every room they shared. He wasn't sure he would ever stop looking for her.

He didn't have to look hard, because he saw her occupying their corner on her stool. Beside her, a top heavy man with a crew cut was turned to her as she looked down at her drink. He felt heat flood his body and he had to consciously push the throbbing in his ears away as he watched her clearly ignore the man.

He was very aware that his face showed emotion, and when he was bothered, red coloring creeped from his neck to his forehead. Was this how Clay felt when he attempted to Jackie Chan the random man at the bar he thought was with Stella? Damn, he thought he was more evolved than the kid.

He tried to count backwards from 10 like his granny taught him to do when he was a child. He told himself that it would be different if Lisa looked happy, that he wouldn't feel every alarm going off in his body telling him to throw the guy out the window. He knew himself though, and he knew his feelings for her. Even if she looked like she was having a good time, he would want to knock the guy off the stool and take his seat. He would want to be the object of her affection without question, but he liked to think he would be more understanding, but only if she were happy.

She clearly wasn't happy though, he thought, his blood pressure rising. He started to assess the situation like a Seal, locating other threats not far from him at a table. All civilians, not appearing to be military. Just some tool trying to impress his friends.

"You okay, man?" Clay's voice shook him out of his head and he turned his head sharply towards his friend.

"That man is bothering Davis, do you see him?" He said immediately, his eyes never leaving her. Sonny wasn't going to pretend to be cool. He could cover his tracks later. He watched Clay and Trent snap their heads towards the bar and straighten to attention.

Clay flattened his mouth into a straight line, putting down the pool stick that he had been using and giving his full attention to the scene.

"Should we go over there?" Trent asked, waiting for confirmation.

Clay hesitated and shook his head. "No, Davis would be pissed if we didn't let her handle her own business." Trent looked at Clay sideways and crossed his arms. Sonny agreed with Trent who hadn't said a word. Sonny started to walk towards Lisa and Clay grabbed his arm. Sonny fought the urge to sling him off.

"Sonny, chill. We don't even know if -" Clay stopped immediately as the three men watched the stranger grab Lisa's arm.

"Oh hell no." Sonny growled, jerking his arm from Clay's grasp. In a few strides Sonny was behind Lisa, his body yearning to hit now, ask questions later.

"If you don't take your hands off of me, you will regret it." He heard Lisa say firmly. There was no hesitation or fear in her voice - Sonny had no doubt that Lisa was about to kick his ass. Part of him wanted to watch this man be flattened by someone half his size, but he didn't want Lisa to face repercussions at work.

"Better listen to the lady, jackass. Get your hands off her." He saw Lisa startle at his voice, and though he might of imagined it, he believed he saw some tension leave her shoulders.

He felt a small bubble of satisfaction as he saw the man's eyes widen slightly and his grip loosen and drop. Lisa stepped back towards him, and Sonny had to fight the urge to wrap his arms around her while somehow kicking the man in the head. He had a lot of pent up anger, he was realizing.

"Sorry man, didn't realize she was taken." The prick said, daring to have a slight edge to his comment. 'Fuck right she's taken,' he wanted to growl even though he knew it was a lie. Sonny wished that no one he knew was there so he could respond to that comment exactly how he wanted to.

Lisa turned around and faced Sonny and he realized two things: 1) She was not completely sober and she would have punched the creep if Sonny had given her twenty more seconds and 2) she missed him just as much as he missed her. He used to take pride in how quickly he could read her - one of the perks of being her best friend. He was happy to see that the skill still remained, despite everything that had happened.

She gave Sonny a small smile and said over her shoulder firmly, "Oh fuck off." Sonny continued to glare at the man, wishing his eyes were lasers.

That's my girl, he thought. Regardless of what had occurred between the two of them, he knew that they would always have each other's six. At this time in their life, that meant breaking up. But for the first time in weeks, Sonny felt a surge of hope that maybe there could be another way.

He looped his arm around her shoulders in what he hoped looked platonic though it was the first time he had touched her in weeks, and steered her towards the pool table. He nodded at Trent who was working on racking the balls and then looked to his right at Clay, who was watching them as if all the lights had been suddenly turned on. Clay gave Sonny a small nod, that seemed to say, "Later."

Lisa pulled from underneath Sonny's arm but not before squeezing his hand imperceptibly.

"Who knew there were men more annoying than you guys?" She said, playfully shoving Clay and Sonny smiled, leaning on the pool table, watching. She walked over to the wall and picked the second pool cue from the left like usual - he swore he could write a book on Lisa. He often wondered how it had taken so long for him to realize how important she was to him. What an idiot he was to not realize sooner that the woman he knew inside and out as a true friend would be the first woman he ever loved.

"Who's partners with who? I think we should all play." Lisa said, picking up the chalk. Sonny looked down as she looked towards him. 'Play it cool Quinn - we're in public,' he told himself.

He wouldn't lose her; he belonged to her. He knew that as surely as he knew that he was a Seal. These past few weeks had been rocky and he wasn't proud of his behavior, but Sonny Quinn had an innate reaction for self preservation with heartbreak. He figured if they avoided contact, it would hurt less. Boy, was he wrong.

She owned every part of him - even the rough parts that no one else ever seemed to want. He just needed to figure out the next step. He would wait - he would always wait for her. For the first time in weeks, Sonny felt a little bit lighter.

Friday, 9 pm

She hadn't planned on getting drunk tonight. Hell, she hadn't even planned on getting tipsy. She planned on going to the bar for one drink to let the nerves of the past few days settle, and yet somehow, here she was: her familiar bar stool with a familiar glass of whiskey in between her two hands (her third if anyone was counting).

Part of her (maybe a large part of her) hoped she'd see a familiar face walk through the door. The other part of her wanted to wallow in peace. However, she knew that this was where he came after a spin-up. She knew there was a high chance he would be here tonight and she couldn't play innocent; she knew exactly what she was doing and she hated herself for it. She hated that she wanted to see his face this desperately. She swirled the liquid around in her glass and took another sip. She needed to go home.

Jimmy, her favorite bartender with a weathered face and weary eyes from the years he was in the service, threw his rag over his shoulder and nodded knowingly at Lisa.

"Another?" She smiled into her glass and nodded, pushing the glass towards him. One more and she would leave, she told herself. He winked and poured, sliding the glass of whiskey with a side of water back towards her. She raised the water and toasted him and he nodded, moving to take care of the other side of the bar.

This spin-up had been hard. It had been the first one since their breakup, and she did everything she could to properly compartmentalize during the entire mission. It mostly worked; she was able to focus on the package and ensuring the information was accurate, but she couldn't stop the random moments when she thought of something she wanted to tell him but couldn't, or the times she automatically looked for his gaze anytime they were in the same room but found nothing returned. Everyone had come home safe and sound and she was thankful, but she couldn't rid herself of the hollow feeling she felt in her gut. The feeling that she was alone, and would be for a long time. And the nagging feeling that it was all her fault.

"You're too pretty to be drinking alone." A voice interrupted her musings, and Lisa turned abruptly, shocked that someone had managed to weasel themselves into her personal space without her knowledge.

She found a large man with a cocky smile, grinning at her on the barstool that she used to save for Sonny. He looked at her like she was lucky to breathe the same air and all that needed to happen was an invitation to leave together. Lisa resisted pushing him off Sonny's stool with willpower she was not aware she had. God, she really wanted to watch him crash to the floor.

She decided to take the high road and smirked, turning back to her drink. "Tonight is not your night, man. Trust me."

She felt him shift closer and her heckles began to raise. She had a brief flashback to young Lisa, who used to throttle guys like this one in bars before they even had time to slide their fleshy hand on her leg. Now, she was a mature adult. She knew how to take care of herself better than she ever had before (it helped to practice self defense with Navy Seals every now and then), but she also knew how to pick her battles - even when she was a few glasses of Maker's in.

"Common' sweetie, what's the harm in having a drink with me? You look like you could use a friend." The man tilted his head and grinned at her, sparing a fleeting look to his left where Lisa noticed a few of his friends were watching. Ah, she thought tiredly, he's not backing down because he has an audience.

"Dude, I said no. Thanks, but no". She turned her head, gave him her best "Fuck off" stare, and signaled for Jimmy in an attempt to close her tab.

The man abruptly covered her hand with his own as she started to get up and Lisa pulled back her hand like it had been electrocuted. She felt the familiar pull of her temper flare, and she fought the strong urge not to deck the prick then and there. She hated this kind of guy; the entitled, confident, never-takes-no kind who most likely had his own last name tattooed on his back.

"You think you're too good?" He asked, his eyes mocking her as she attempted, again, to flag down Jimmy. Jimmy had his back turned, furiously mopping up a smashed glass on the bar.

Lisa took a deep breath and turned towards him. She was fully aware that he had at least a foot of height on her, not to mention over a hundred pounds, but this made her madder. Sonny had once compared her during an altercation to a rabid badger which had initially annoyed her. Now she nodded internally, understanding and appreciating the comparison.

"Too good for you and this pathetic attempt at a pick up? Absolutely." She grabbed her jacket and began to side step away from the man. If Jimmy wouldn't come to her, she'd go to him.

What happened next was exactly what Lisa knew he would do. Men like this didn't tolerate refusals, let alone refusals in front of their friends. He grabbed her arm and Lisa blamed the whiskey for being too slow to wrench it from his grasp before he'd had the chance. Regardless of the predictable move, Lisa was surprised he had done it so firmly in a public place, albeit in a deserted bar early on a Friday night.

"If you don't let go of my fucking arm right now, you will regret it." Lisa watched the man's smirk fade and his eyes grow larger. She smiled inwardly; she knew she still had it. Mature Lisa was a badass too.

"Better listen to the lady, jackass. Get your hands off her."

Lisa startled slightly at the familiar low growl behind her. The man abruptly dropped her arm and Lisa instinctively stepped backwards, away from his chair and nearly into the chest of none other than Sonny Quinn. She turned around quickly out of surprise, but she hadn't needed to. She knew who it was like she knew her own voice. The expression on Sonny's face was feral, not to mention the grim expressions that Clay and Trent wore behind him. Lisa fought to hide her smile as she turned to face the man once again.

"Sorry man, wasn't aware she was taken." He said, abandoning his stool and staring past her at her entourage. He struggled in his intent to not look intimidated, but Lisa knew the impression that Bravo team wanted to convey and it was not dissimilar to how they would treat a terrorist.

Lisa felt like she had lost control of the situation. She was simultaneously relieved to see her friends and annoyed that they thought she couldn't handle an annoying civilian.

"Oh fuck off." She said to her unwelcome suitor, her voice unintentionally heavy with exhaustion. He glared and began to walk away, and she felt Sonny's chest tense. She looked to her right, and noticed Sonny's arm on the bar, his fist clenching and unclenching as if a reflex. She'd seen this Sonny many times - he was rearing for a fight. Yet somehow, he was controlling himself.

One more step back, she thought, and she would be fully in his embrace. He could wrap both arms around her, place his face in her hair and everything would be right again. That's what she wanted. Did he? Did he still hurt from ending things? Of course he did, she thought. Their relationship was the closest thing either of them had ever felt to the real thing.

But just like that, Sonny stepped back, taking his semicircle of warmth away from her and Lisa jerked back to reality. She wasn't sure if Sonny saw the crest fallen expression on her face when he pulled away; she hoped not because that would have meant Bravo would have seen it as well. She made a mental note to practice her poker face more at home.

Maybe on some level, Sonny sensed the hesitation and longing she was feeling, because he looped his arm loosely around her shoulders like he had done for years and steered her towards the pool table. Until he had touched her, she had no idea that she still craved him to this extent. The hollow feeling in her stomach filled and Lisa let herself lean into her one armed embrace. She knew this immediate remedy was rare. People didn't feel this level of comfort or ease with just anyone.

Lisa felt her resolve with her previous decision weaken. She needed to find another way. There had to be some kind of loophole, right? Did she really have to choose between love and her career? She felt like a woman in a bad fifties TV show. Maybe there was a better way to handle this, she thought. Maybe she and Sonny could figure this out together. After all, they had been doing that for years.

Lisa walked towards the pool cues on the wall. "Who knew there were men more annoying than you guys?" She said, attempting to break the tension. She lightly shoved Clay and watched him smile in relief - probably happy that no one had ended up in jail. Lisa glanced at Sonny and smiled, hoping he could read her the way she could read him.

"Who's partners with who? I think we should all play." Lisa looked over at Sonny and he quickly turned his gaze to Clay. Lisa smirked, thinking that no matter how good Sonny was at being covert with his job, he was an open book in a bar. Luckily Clay and Trent were preoccupied, looking at something on Clay's phone. Sonny's gaze flickered back to Lisa and she tilted her head, smiling at him. He dropped his eyes and adjusted his head, chuckling softly before looking at her again.

He stood up from his stool and walked to grab his pool cue, saying, "I'll take my chances with Davis. I think it's worth the risk." Lisa smiled over her shoulder, feeling her heart flutter, and said, "Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you."


End file.
